Honesty or lack thereof

I find that the hardest part about writing is being honest with myself. I like to blame the other people that I imagine are reading this. I tell myself “don’t be so self-conscious”.

But the truth is, if I was writing something for my eyes only I don’t know if I could be any more honest. I don’t know if honesty is really the right word. I don’t really know when I am lying to myself.

I just know that every so often I look back on what I wrote and it really does not seem honest.

My last two post don’t seem honest to me. I wrote them because I am unhappy and I was trying to do something more than just complain or talk trash about myself. But they are so far away from what is bothering me that it is not even funny. And they are not even comprehensible.

I don’t know if I can fully articulate why I am unhappy. Part of it is the time of year. I always get moody around this time of year. But I don’t think dismissing it as a seasonal thing is the right thing to do.

I mean, granted, I always get moody around this time of year. But the things that bother me differ from year to year. Whatever those things may be, they always tend to be the things that bothered me throughout the year.

I guess what I am trying to say is that just because we are more sensitive to things at certain times of the year does not mean that we should dismiss them.

On the other hand, I am not sure if there is really any benefit in trying to articulate them.

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