Ramblings of a tired human

Today I am so tired I can’t even really write. I have a head full of thoughts as usual. But I lack the will and the ability to discipline them even to the limited extent that I normally do.

This lack of sleep has other effects that are even worse then not being to write. Today I spent a good part of the day struggling with anger. I think this is in part due to being tired.

But what bothers me is that is that I have been struggling with anger a lot over the last month or so. Maybe longer, I don’t know.

It always seems to get worse and worse as the week goes on. By Friday I am practically seething. But it always seems to get a lot better by Saturday. This is one way that I know that my anger has a lot to do with lack of sleep.

Still, I have always had problems with being tired by Friday, but I have not always had such issues with being angry. So I think there are other things going on. But figuring out why is not always such an easy thing to do.

A lot of times the things that your angry winds up expressing itself upon have very little to do with the real reasons that you are angry. But that is not always obvious except in retrospect.

And perhaps even the retrospect is heavily tainted. Humans have a tendency to shape their memory to fit a narrative that they would prefer. Sometimes this just means shaping our memory into a narrative that we can understand when the real truth is unknown or incomprehensible.

Unfortunately, I am human.

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