Listen up, all you dirty scum without health insurance, the IRS is going to be monitoring you for compliance with the new health care bill. This process is going to be modeled on the famed campaign run by a certain Santa Claus. Just make sure you do the right thing and you will not have anything to worry about.

And don’t worry your pretty little head about the fiscal impact of this bill. A lot of work was put into the bill to make it fiscally responsible. But you don’t need to dig into the details. Just rest assured that every angle has been covered to ensure that this bill is as good for the fiscal health of America as it is for its physical health. The only thing that could go wrong is if some of the more backwards states fail to pay their share.

Granted, to understand how this bill is fiscally responsible, you need to have a good working knowledge of higher math. But such sophistication should not alarm you. Rather you should feel relived that such people are working on your behalf.

Another indication of their brilliance is the parliamentary brilliance behind the sophisticated parliamentary tactics being used to both pass and not pass some of the more unpopular bits of the bill.

Have a good night’s sleep everyone.